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LOLEightball - LOLMac
u can has RDA

Y no leventy ball?
Episode:   Deadman Switch, Season 3           Screen Capture from:  rda_daily

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sidlj From: sidlj Date: 26th November 2012 21:02 (UTC) (Link)
insolent mortal

Don't know about the future, but it certainly has Jack pegged right.
lolmac From: lolmac Date: 27th November 2012 04:19 (UTC) (Link)
Even a majik Goa'uld eight-ball is occasionally correct.
thothmes From: thothmes Date: 26th November 2012 22:16 (UTC) (Link)

A Few Goa'uld Pi-eties

Daniel came barreling out of the cargo hold where he had been napping, already at full alert, his zat at the ready. It had been an instinctive reaction to the deep and blaring Goa'uld voice that had woken him. It didn't take him long to see that it wasn't the emergency that his subconscious mind had told him it was. Instead he found himself looking at Jack bent over the Goa'uld fortune telling device, urgently whispering at it in an attempt to shut it off. Jack might complain about his ability refrain from touching, but he had his own problems with keeping his mouth shut!

"What did you ask it, Jack? Just what did you ask it?" Daniel asked, his voice sharpened and exasperated as a result of the adrenaline that was still bleeding off from the sudden awakening.

"I might have asked it whether [unintelligible mumble]"

He wasn't blushing was he? Daniel smiled. Clearly he held the upper hand here.

"What did you say, Jack?" Here Daniel smiled in a way that he sincerely hoped was obnoxiously smug. "I didn't quite catch that."

"Does it matter, Daniel? You speak the lingo! Just shut it off!"

"I'm sure Teal'c could do that even more reliably. He doesn't speak it with an accent. But he's going to want to know why it's saying 'She hates you! She hates you!' over and over."

"NO!" Jack clearly didn't want the Big Guy involved. "I might have asked it..."

"Asked it what, Jack?"

Ooooh this was fun!

"Okay, I asked it whether Carter likes me, satisfied?"

Jack stomped off to lean against one of the walls and slowly slide down to sit, all the while making insistent shooing motions intended to get Daniel to work his magic on the machine.

This presented a bit of a problem, since Daniel didn't actually know how to shut it off. Instead, after a moment of thought, prompted by the ghost of Sam in the discussion, he dredged up the vocabulary he needed to ask the machine what the value of pi was. A steady, deep-voiced, almost soothing series of numbers began to flow out. Even Jack, with his limited language skills, could hear that this was a list, and his body relaxed into a dejected slump.

Daniel huffed with impatience. Did the ass actually believe that thing? In all their travels around the galaxy Daniel had yet to find anyone who was not either a psychopath or power-hungry that didn't like Jack O'Neill. Maybourne and Makepeace had a grudging but real appreciation for Jack, for godssake! How could he actually believe that thing!

Daniel went over to the wall, placing himself carefully at a discrete distance from where Jack was, and slid down to sit next to him.

"It's a Goa'uld machine, Jack."


"Made for use by Goa'ulds."

"I got that."

"That answer, it probably added... spice, for a Goa'uld. More fun to contemplate than a willing-"

"Aht! Don't say it!"

Right. That ridiculous delusion that if these inconvenient feelings weren't spoken they didn't exist and no one would notice.

There was a moment of relative silence with only the continual flow of Goa'uld numerals.

"Eeeeewww!" said Jack. "One more reason to rid the universe of snakes!"

"Yeah," agreed Daniel, who had been trying desperately not to contemplate the implications of a preference for unwilling partners on Sha're.

"We're doing what we can, Daniel. We're a pretty small command and it's a big universe."

See. That. That eerie ability to figure out where people's minds were going. That's why everyone wanted to follow Jack, even when he was doing his best to be an annoying, childish ass.

"So. Didn't know how to turn it off, did you?"

"Nope. It doesn't come with directions."

"We're gonna hafta get Teal'c then."


Relative silence again.

"What's it saying?"

"It's naming the digits of pi."

"So not shutting up soon."


"Oddly soothing, considering."

That it was.

Edited at 2012-11-27 04:07 (UTC)
lolmac From: lolmac Date: 27th November 2012 04:18 (UTC) (Link)

Re: A Few Goa'uld Pi-eties

Yay!! I love it!
thothmes From: thothmes Date: 27th November 2012 04:25 (UTC) (Link)

Re: A Few Goa'uld Pi-eties

And so much more fun to toss of this (and then tweak it a bit after The Whirlwind was no longer being a distraction) than to sit down and write my Advent Calendar piece!
lothithil From: lothithil Date: 27th November 2012 04:44 (UTC) (Link)
Still funny! *rotfl*
6 comments or Leave a comment