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LOLBuzzed - LOLMac
u can has RDA

Sumbuddys gonna git hurted.
Episode:   Paradise Lost, Season 6           Screen Capture from:  rda_daily

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zeilfanaat From: zeilfanaat Date: 7th June 2012 16:35 (UTC) (Link)
"Eh, hehe, now, Jack... is that really necessary... hehe, we're old buds, remember. Starsky & Hutch. I mean... that's not really fair, is it."

"Fair...?" Jack looked at the buzzer in his hand, then back at Harry, and considered something. After a long silence, he spoke again. "You know... you're right."

Harry looked relieved, but only for the time it took for the rest of Jack's words to penetrate.

"I really shouldn't take my annoyance out on this poor buzzer. 'sides, Buzz would like to be on the giving end too sometimes. So we'll just skip step one."

"Wh- Jack! No!" Harry's eyes widened. Just his luck to be in the room the moment when Jack O'Neill went off the deep end after all this time.

Jack continued as if Harry hadn't interrupted. "Got it? You lie, Buzz or I will hit you." He smiled with glee. "Guess it shouldn't come as a shock now that you know..."

Harry tried to back away, but bounced against the solid muscle wall that was Teal'c. The Jaffa raised one eyebrow, and Harry quickly turned back to Jack, trying to exude confidence. Better to take your chances with an insane human than with a vengeful Jaffa. Maybe...

With despair he realized he may not have a choice between the two... Jack and Teal'c, they were a team. Not looking good, Harry. Still, he tried to cover his anxiety. Jack had said he'd only use Buz-- the buzzer if he lied. And Jack wouldn't be able to tell when he lied.

Jack meanwhile stared at Harry with a predatory gleam in his eyes. Not the place Harry felt comfortable, but he'd been there before. That's right. Stay calm. This is only Jack. Just Jack. Jack who's good at looking insane. Harry swallowed. Very good.

"You know, Harry... you remind me of someone else I know... I can always tell when he's lying... I hear he's family of yours...?"

"Uh, what?" Harry asked, genuinely confused, although his mind was racing.

"Yes, and apparently there's this certain twitch that's been passed down with the genes..."

Noooo!!! Jack couldn't have found out! Please, don't let it be-

"Jack Dalton is his name," Jack continued, his eyes not leaving Harry's. "Do you know him, Harry?"

Do not twitch, do not twitch! Harry mentally ordered his eyes. He'd fooled lie-detectors before! Of course, those hadn't known about the twitch... "Nope." Twitch Ah! He'd hoped the short answer would prevent it. Maybe Jack had missed it.

A Cheshire grin spread on Jack's face.

Ok, he hadn't missed it.

"Not a smart move, Harry..."

"No, no, wait! I do know him! It ehm, I just don't like admitting it!" No twitch for that, obviously. Jack's hand paused in its movement. "Hmm... well, ok, I can't really blame you for that. Consider that your last warning. Next time you lie..."

Harry swallowed. Yeah, he got it.

"Now, lets get down to business." Jack's face became deadly serious. "Harry Maybourne, did you eat my cake?"

Harry felt a shiver of fear. Forget the buzzer! The shock from that thing had to be better than the consequences of Jack finding out he had eaten his cake. He had to risk it. "N-No." Twitch

"You're lying!" Jack accused, and his finger pressed down on the buzzer. A loud, buzzing sound was emitted, and immediately Harry squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation of the shock. A shock it was when something hit him in the chest, then fell to the ground with a... plastic sound? He opened his eyes and looked at the ground. Was that... an action figure of some kind?


"Harry, meet Buzz Lightyear!" Jack smirked as he picked up the purple and green action figure and shoved it in Harry's face. "Told you Buzz would hit you."

"Jack, you... you... you were fooling around??!!!" Harry cried out indignantly.

"Really, Harry, you ought to know me better than that..." Jovial eyes turned deadly serious once more. "I do not fool around when it comes to cake... Especially when the cake is mine... Don't get me wrong, Harry, you will pay..."

Suddenly Harry was glad Jack had never been recruited for real into the NID. This guy was a real nutcase!

"O'Neill. Should we not return DanielJackson's alarm clock?"

"Aw, Teal'c, don't be such a buzzkill!"
thothmes From: thothmes Date: 7th June 2012 17:01 (UTC) (Link)
*giggle* *giggle* *snort* GLEE!

Yep, that's exactly the kind of head-messing that Jack delights in.... In which he Jack delights...yeah. That's it...The kind of head-messing in which Jack delights. Daniel does know his Jack.

I especially love the way that this piece is just slightly dream-warped, almost the way it might go, and then the reveal lets us know that it is not just crack-fic at work, but a dreamscape too. Lovely.
zeilfanaat From: zeilfanaat Date: 8th June 2012 08:15 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks thothmes!
*giggle* Yes, the kind of head-messing in which Jack delights. Indeed. *grin*
lolmac From: lolmac Date: 8th June 2012 04:25 (UTC) (Link)
Truly, truly shocking!! What a buzz!
zeilfanaat From: zeilfanaat Date: 8th June 2012 08:30 (UTC) (Link)
Hehehe, yes, shocking buzz indeed.
Does make you wonder what gave Jack such a Buzz (Lightyear)...
zeilfanaat From: zeilfanaat Date: 7th June 2012 16:42 (UTC) (Link)
...and if it hits you hard enough, you might finally have a buzz cut again!

And only then you can lie... down, that is.

Edited at 2012-06-07 16:45 (UTC)
thothmes From: thothmes Date: 7th June 2012 17:19 (UTC) (Link)
Okay, so I admit that my offering today is going to be paltry, because the crackfic that has already appeared takes the cake [Look out, Jack might be coming for his cake!], here's what popped into my mind:

Hammond: Colonel, while I appreciate your distaste for Colonel Maybourne's frequent lack of truthfulness, and believe me, I find it irritating too, I also find that six hours of continuous buzzing have given me a headache the size of Texas. I want that buzzer turned off now! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

Jack: [proceeding to start whacking Maybourne around the head with the buzzer] Yes, sir!

Hammond: [in tones of restraint and some resignation] Colonel!

Jack: [reluctantly stopping, but only after an especially big whack, and eyeing Maybourne with his steeliest glare] Yes, sir.

Maybourne: [indignantly] General, I insist that this officer be prosecuted for striking a fellow officer!

Hammond: [eyes narrowed, complexion reddening] Colonel!

Maybourne: [looking behind him at a now-seraphically smiling O'Neill, and realizing that it is not O'Neill who is being addressed] Yes, sir. Permission to return to Groom Lake, sir?

Hammond: Granted. [as Maybourne leaves, glancing once again, apprehensively, at the once-more steely-eyed Jack, he sits heavily down into his seat at the head of the briefing table, and adds quietly] With pleasure, Colonel.

Jack: [beaming] The pleasure was all mine, sir.

Hammond: [glares]

Jack: [allllmost succeeds in looking repentant. Alllmost.]

Edited at 2012-06-08 04:20 (UTC)
lolmac From: lolmac Date: 8th June 2012 04:27 (UTC) (Link)
Aw. Poor Hammond!
zeilfanaat From: zeilfanaat Date: 8th June 2012 08:31 (UTC) (Link)
You're kidding, right. Nothing paltry about this! I love it. Can just see Jack's alllmost repentant look. *giggle*
archersangel From: archersangel Date: 7th June 2012 19:51 (UTC) (Link)
i wondered what all of that buzzing was. i thought there was a bee in here.
lolmac From: lolmac Date: 8th June 2012 04:26 (UTC) (Link)
Jack does seem to have a bee in his bonnet.
macsme From: macsme Date: 8th June 2012 12:44 (UTC) (Link)
God! What a huge laugh y'all gave me. Thanks!
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